Raising Pharisees

How do we keep our children from holding others in judgment? Especially as homeschooling moms, how do we keep our children from judging those who are in public or private schools when we are vehemently defensive of our decision to homeschool?

It is true, we all know it: when we get questioned about our decision to homeschool and about the benefits/risks to our children, our claws come out. It doesn’t take much to send me into a tirade when I’ve had to answer difficult questions about why I’m homeschooling (I’m usually crying after the fact to my husband or close friends). We all have our reasons for homeschooling and they are solid and sound, but when we can sense that judging tone, it stirs up those self-doubts and secret concerns that have settled into the far recesses of our minds.

Then, for many of us, it comes out…we call it defensiveness…but we know it is pride. And, oh—does it lead to some sin! Many times, our words become peppered with cynicism and sarcasm. Or, we begin convicting others of their shortcomings, their failures or bad decisions. I found an interesting blog article, The Mark of a Christian, that talks about how we Christians “spew venom” while defending our own beliefs and in the process “destroy the vibrancy of our faith and our witness to the world.” We are so eager to defend our ideals, that we use sinful means to do it

How many times have we spewed cynical, sarcastic, judgmental words when defending our decision to homeschool? And, as our sweet children are always listening (more than we realize), we are training them to be little Pharisees. They know all our right answers, but their hearts have been trained to be prideful and their answers caustic.

So, back to the question: how do we keep our children from holding others in judgment? I’ll throw it out there for you to answer, but I think we can find one hint in Mark 12: 31 and another in Matthew 7:3-5.